Building Capacity and Coping Skills
One small crack does not mean you are broken, it means you were put to the test and didn’t fall apart
Linda Poindexter
Maybe you feel like you are or did fall apart, but if you are reading this, then you are here, and you did it! But maybe you have noticed that it seems harder to do life than it used to be for you. Have you noticed that you just don’t have the patience, resilience, and energy that you used to have? I have, and many of my clients have as well.
So, what is happening?
I have been observing the need to tweak coping skills, add new ones, and remove ones that no longer serve us well. Things change, we change, so it makes sense that our coping skills also need to change. They are not a fixed formula that we figure out once and it is done. It is a lifelong journey of adapting to circumstances, finding the coping skills that work in the moment, and realizing that they may change, as the moments in our lives change. Or perhaps the intensity of our circumstances calls for more intense self-care and coping strategies.
Life can bloom through the cracks, just as flowers can bloom in a chipped flowerpot.
Building capacity and coping skills are essential aspects of growth and change. These skills help us navigate through life’s challenges and improve our resilience in the face of adversity, even when we do not want to face it or feel it.
Whether you are faced with a difficult situation at work, a relationship issue, or a health problem, having strong coping skills can make a significant difference in how you react, respond, and renew yourself.
Here are some tips on how you can start building these skills in your life:
1. Identify your strengths and what helps you:
Self-awareness is the first step in building capacity and coping skills. Take some time to reflect on your strengths, the skills you are already using, and areas where you may want improvement. This is the most important step, as you can not do anything that you do not know about yourself, how you take care of yourself, and what will work for you.
2. Practice mindfulness and self-care:
Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, and deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded and focused during stressful times. Additionally, taking care of your physical and emotional well-being through regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep can improve your overall resilience and coping abilities.
3. Seek support and guidance:
Building capacity and coping skills does not mean that you have to do it alone. Reach out to friends, family members, or a counselor for support and guidance. Talking about your feelings and experiences can help you gain perspective and develop new coping strategies. Remember, it doesn’t always FEEL good, but it IS good!
4. Stay flexible and adaptable:
Life is full of unexpected challenges and changes. We change, we get older, and things around us change. We need to adjust self-care depending on who we are at this moment, what we are going through, and what speaks to us most right now in taking care of ourselves. These changes can be big or small; what matters most is what works for you, right now, in whatever state you are in.
5. Evaluate what no longer works for you:
Take inventory of your life spaces and notice what is no longer helpful, positive, or builds you up. This could be toxic or unequal relationships, limiting or negative personal beliefs, or unhealthy habits that are hindering your emotional well-being.
Remember that it’s okay to let go of things that no longer serve you.
This is a very purposeful process, which may include many different ways to intentionally release someone or something. This may include journaling, special music, finishing something that had sentimental value to you, or donating old items that were significant for a season in your life but are now time to say goodbye to. It could be limiting or eliminating something from your life, it will mean being honest about what is no longer helpful for you, even if it was helpful for a time.
There is no “right” way to do this, it really can be anything, as long as it is meaningful to you.
YOU are worth the effort!
Building capacity and coping skills is a continuous journey that requires commitment and effort.
By practicing self-awareness, mindfulness, seeking support, staying flexible, and evaluating what works and what does not work for you, you can improve your resilience and cope more effectively with life’s challenges.
Remember that building these skills takes time and patience, but the rewards are well worth the effort…YOU are worth the effort!
