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Embrace Your Unique Breast Cancer Journey: Find Strength & Support

Typically, this time of year, I would be writing about something Fall-themed, with some connections to the holidays of this season, shedding our old leaves to make space for new ones, the natural life flow of seasons changing, or removing the masks we wear to live our most authentic selves. But this time, something else became important for me.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Normally, this would pass me by without another thought. However, this year is different, and I wanted to share some of my unique journey. One thing that often gets overlooked during Breast Cancer Awareness Month is the importance of not comparing your story to others.

Each person’s experience with breast cancer is unique and valid, and it is essential to remember that your journey is yours and yours alone. But the truth is, no two people have the same experience with breast cancer. Your feelings, fears, struggles, and triumphs are all valid, regardless of how they compare to someone else’s. Each person’s journey is shaped by their unique circumstances, emotions, and support systems, and it is crucial to honor and respect your own experience.

I have decided to share part of my experience because I have found if “something could be worse” it seems to mean we need to minimize our emotions and reactions, along with feeling dismissed and invalidated throughout the experience. I want to tackle this issue from both a professional and personal place in this blog.

Just a Routine Appointment

Back in February of this year (2024), I had a mammogram in preparation for my annual examination, trying to be a good patient (since I forgot to do it the year before). It was just one of those routine things we hate to do, but we know we need to make the appointments and find a place in our busy schedule to just get it done.

I was not prepared for the call that they had found something.

So began the numerous tests, calls, and appointments, along with an overload of information every step of the way. It all happened so fast! I did not even have time to process what was happening. So many calls, so many appointments, and so much information to gather, process, and make decisions on.

Long story short, the biopsy revealed it was cancerous, and by the end of April, I was having surgery. For those of you who know me, you know that I live with chronic health issues, and I was worried about how this was all going to affect my body and the quality of an already limited life.

Wow, nothing could have prepared me for the next several months of recovery, radiation treatment, more appointments, and more health issues.

What I was grateful for…

Now, here is where I tell you all the things I was lucky about and am grateful for, and believe me, there were some.

It was stage 1A, had all “ideal features,” was small, and did not spread at all. Am I grateful for those things? Of course! Yet, here is what I realized; this “good news” was somehow supposed to make it all ok. It seemed I was not allowed to be “that upset” because “it could be worse.” I have felt like I have needed to downplay the breast cancer and its effects while trying to process all that has come along these last several months.

To be honest, I do not think I have even begun to process it, and I recently realized I have not permitted myself for it to be anything other than “it could have been worse.” This implies it was not that bad, that I should not have dark thoughts and feelings, and that it was not a big deal.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that it was a big deal, that I am allowed to think and feel however I need to, and I must not care if others think I am overacting, overanalyzing, or being overly dramatic (and, yes, I tend to be those things anyway😉) about something that could have been so much worse. I know it could have been worse, but why can’t what I experienced be bad enough, why do I have to pretty it up for people, or act less upset than I am?

I know what it was like for me, month after month, waiting to feel better, to return to work, and to some kind of normalcy in my life. I want that to be enough for myself, to permit myself to let my breast cancer experience be an awful thing for me to have lived through, and not in the very next sentence feel I have to say “It’s ok, it could have been worse” to downplay my journey.

I want that to be all that matters. Not what others think is valid or not in a cancer story, or being dismissed by the medical community, or being expected to just bounce back from surgery. This was not my experience.

My Breast Cancer Experience Led me to This

My experience with breast cancer was made more difficult due to my chronic health issues. This made me think about my clients, friends, and anyone struggling with a chronic health issue, and how dismissed we are in our ailments, the lack of understanding from the medical community, family, friends, and the emotional pain that comes along with trying to deal with the physical pain.

And so was birthed an idea to create a group where those who live with chronic health issues can find a space free of comparing and judgment, no messages of minimizing or dismissing your health issue because “it could be worse,” a place full of support, validation, and normalization for those of us who must live with not-so-normal issues.

It is a difficult journey walking the path of chronic health issues. We live with constant pain, a constant reminder of limitations, constantly figuring out what our bodies can and cannot do, constantly hoping and wishing to get better, thinking that maybe one day we will wake up and it will all go away, that one day there will be a cure, that people would see and understand, and care. There is so much to carry on our journey, let us lighten the load for each other.

If you or someone you know is interested in joining this group, please see the information below. Come and feel heard, seen, and valued for exactly who you are in the place you are in right now.

You are not alone in your health struggles, and your story is valuable and deserving of recognition. By embracing your own experience and not comparing it to others, you can find strength, resilience, and hope as you continue your journey toward healing and recovery.

Let us remember to celebrate and honor each person’s unique story and experience with chronic health issues, knowing that every individual’s journey is valid and worthy of recognition. Let’s come together in solidarity and support, lifting each other up and championing the importance of self-compassion and self-acceptance as we navigate living with chronic health issues. I believe this group can help us to do that together.

New support group for chronic illness

The first session of Groups will run from Thursday, November 7th to Thursday, December 19th from 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm (not meeting Thanksgiving week). The Group will be located at the Free Press Building in Quakertown at 314 W. Broad St. Call 267-217-3199 or email Jennifer Zuck at jennifer@lifegivingcounseling.org to reserve your spot as they are limited.

Join more than 100 others

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