How are we doing: Overloaded circuit breakers, empty gas tanks, and the non-ending stress response?
I don’t know about you, but I can honestly say that I am feeling overwhelmed, am easily exhausted, and that every day I wake up and seem to have less and less energy available to me.
I recently read an essay and the writer used the metaphor of a circuit breaker being overloaded, and something just clicked for me. That’s it! Our original circuit breakers cannot stand the amount of energy currently being outputted.
Even if we are not consciously thinking about something I think that subconsciously energy is leaving us, and we do not even realize it. From COVID, to Afghanistan, to the earthquakes in Haiti, to the recent flooding; all that energy is leaving us before we even face our own every day lives and everything that brings along with it. So, our breaker switches are getting tripped more easily and more quickly than before, and everyone seems to be experiencing it.
Call any counseling practice right now, including mine, and you will hear the same thing: There is no availability, or there is a wait list, or they are not even taking names for wait lists anymore they are so full.
People are depleted, I am depleted, and I am guessing you feel it too.
It’s like waking up and our tank is already only half full before we even get a chance to face our day. Maybe that wasn’t how we used to be, but things have changed, and we have changed. The things that used to refuel us, or recharge our battery, do not seem to be cutting it the same way anymore. Our circuit breakers were not designed to withstand the amount of energy we are now requiring of it.
How do we deal with feeling overwhelmed?
I think we are all experiencing a form of burn-out here. We are feeling overwhelmed from it all: the world, our lives, and the hits keep coming. It’s taking its toll on all of us. And although we can not necessarily remove the stressful events, I think we can help ourselves in several ways.
Learn what refuels your tank.
This may require a tweak of prior coping skills, self-care, decisions, etc. We have been changed this last year and a half, and so it makes sense that our coping strategies would need to change too. Figure out what drains your fuel, the barriers to refueling your tank, and what refuels you now. You would never expect your car to run on fumes and still function the way it is supposed to, so do not expect that of yourself either.
Notice and choose where you energy goes.
Become aware of where your energy is going, both consciously and subconsciously. Then, make certain decisions based on that. For example, I have clients who have gotten off social media, who have taken a break from the news, have limited their once-packed schedules. Figure out what yours is. This does not mean you don’t care or are hiding about what is happening in the world, or with other people, or in your neighborhood. It means right now, your circuit breaker can only take so much, so don’t overload it.
Listen to yourself
We are not compartmentalized beings; we are whole beings. Our internal is connected to our external. We need to become experts at listening to ourselves. Whatever your opinion is about Simone Biles’s choice at the Olympics a month ago, what we can see is that her internal (mind) was not connected to her external (body).
She made a choice to focus on her mental health and physical safety. She knew she was not connected. She heard and listened to what her mind and body were telling her, and she made a choice based on what she heard.
In the same way, we need to get better at hearing what is being said to us, really listen, and then make a choice on how to best care for ourselves.
Give permission to take care of ourselves.
Look, if you can’t give it to yourself, then I give it to you! I don’t know why this is so hard for people to do. I cannot tell you how many times I see pure relief in my clients faces when I give them permission for simple things.
“Take break, it’s ok to say not to that, don’t do anything this weekend, make it simpler, take a breath, it’s ok to take care of yourself, put that in the back burner for now…” If we are on overload, and our tanks are depleting by the minute, please give yourself permission (or take mine) to figure out how to fill it back up.
Our Stress Response to Feeling Overwhelmed
Another way to help refuel our tank and help our circuit breakers not be overloaded is to give our bodies a break from being in the stress response.
The stress response is a normal body-brain reaction to a threat, stressful event, or being in danger. However, there is a difference between a stressor and then how we respond to that stressor.
Our brains and bodies need time to calm back down and return to homeostasis. When there is a stressor/threat our bodies and brains do what they are supposed to do to protect us; our limbic system triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response, the body makes more adrenaline and cortisol, our heart-rate increase, our blood pressure goes us, our breathing changes, everything changes in your body to help us survive the moment.
The problem becomes when we remain in this state, or simply a state of always feeling overwhelmed. We simply cannot sustain that response. We need to return to our pre-threat condition. Right now, I am not sure we are giving our bodies and brains the opportunity, time, or space to do that before we are right back into another threat/stress response state.
We can help our bodies do this making sure we allow that last phase of the stress response ending and returning to a sense of safety. Learn more about the difference between stressors and the stress response and what we can to do about it in this TED Talk:
