My last blog post was about the notion of mindful living, and I realized that it is such an important topic that I wanted to continue to elaborate on it. I believe it is such a vital state of being, but one that we are not always successful at implementing in a tangible way.
I often find the need to bring myself back into the present moment; not looking behind or running ahead. It is this running ahead idea that I want to tackle today with a Cliff/Bridge Analogy that I hope makes this idea a bit more concrete for you.
Running Ahead of Ourselves
There are several things that can cause us to want to run ahead – fear of the unknown, anxiety, stress, worry, not being pleased with who we are or what is happening to us in our present moment, etc. Whatever the reason, we often think running ahead is better than where we are. So, imagine a scene where you are running towards a cliff at full speed.
You are so focused in getting ahead that you fail to realize there is no bridge to get you to the other side. You haven’t been able to build the bridge yet. You may not have the plans, the materials, or the ability to build that bridge right now. It is a future project; a future moment. But if we keep running too fast and too far into the future we will fall right over the cliff.
When we run towards a cliff where a bridge hasn’t been built yet, we cannot be in the moment we are in; we are running towards a future that we are not prepared for yet.
This is where I find that I must use a reminder to reign myself in. And for some reason I always picture a western-themed sense of me running towards a cliff and needing to use a lasso to catch myself and save me from falling off the cliff. I recently cut a small piece of twine to keep in my desk so I can pull it out, look at it, and hold it as a reminder to lasso myself back into the moment. But you use whatever image or reminder works best for you.
Bridge Building in the Moment
There will come a time when you are ready to be in that moment, where you build your bridge, and are able to cross it. However, that time is not decided for us by fear, anxiety, or stress. Mindfulness allows those emotions to present, but they are not allowed to make decisions for us; they are not allowed to make us rush towards a cliff with no bridge.
Here is a helpful tool that I often use with people I work with to help them implement this idea of Emotion Mindfulness. I hope it helps you too.
Emotion Mindfulness Goal:
To have the emotion, but not be controlled by it.
- Recognize the feeling – Be aware of the emotion that is present in the moment
- Accept the emotion – Refrain from assigning judgment to the emotion (i.e. good/bad or right/wrong, etc.). The emotion is allowed to be present.
- Notice the internal and external – Be aware of what is going on inside of you (i.e. underlying beliefs, negative self-talk, motivations, patterns of emotions, etc.) and outside of you (i.e. circumstances, triggers, environment, stresses, etc.).
- Decide that you are not going to be swept away by the emotion – You have the emotion, it is there, but you are going to choose not to be controlled by it.
- Assign responsibility – Be aware of what you are and are not responsible for/in control of in the situation (i.e. you are responsible for your thoughts, behaviors, reaction, responses, etc. but you are not responsible for others thoughts, behaviors, reactions, responses, etc.).
- Refocus your energy – Focus on things that bring healthiness, wholeness, and truth to you.
To learn more about how to use these concepts please feel free to reach out and make an appointment with us. We would love to walk this journey with you and help keep you from running off the cliff, to help lasso you into the present moment, and to help build your future bridge.
