This time last year, I wrote a blog on the topic of New Year, New You, but as this year was coming to an end, I have been rethinking that a bit, and this year I am coming at it from a quite different place.
Whether it is because of the last two years we have all been through, or where I am at in my personal and professional journey, I am now thinking more about the New Year, Embrace You. What I mean by that is embracing ourselves just the way we are in this moment and accepting that with complete kindness and graciousness. Can you just pause for a moment and feel what that would be like? No adding “buts” or commas to anything, no “shoulds, supposed tos, or musts,” just you as you are, accepting yourself, and even liking yourself.
Now, don’t misunderstand me, that does not mean we can’t set goals for ourselves, or desire to work on personal and professional development, however, it does mean that instead of focusing on all that is “wrong” with us and what needs to be “fixed,” that we take a moment to love ourselves right where we are, who we are, and how we look.
I am preparing to speak at a Retreat on the topic of self-critical vs. self-compassionate language, so I have been much more aware of how people speak to themselves about themselves, and I am saddened by the number of negative self-talk people have especially related to their body image. Which I guess makes sense considering the time of year it is which has us look at what we do not like about ourselves and become determined to rid ourselves of it.
That got me thinking about New Year’s resolutions
That got me thinking about New Year’s resolutions, again not that they are a bad thing in and of themselves, but how often do they focus on what we don’t like about ourselves and what we think is broken with us, and all the negative self-talk spiraling that comes along with that.
Doesn’t seem like a good motivator to me!
Starting with embracing ourselves and desiring a healthy lifestyle (body, mind, and soul) focuses on something we would like for ourselves, it is not a value statement about who we are or who we are not. Anything that starts with a mean, ugly, or negative belief about yourself is not a loving or compassionate way to go about making any kind of life change in a kind, beautiful, or positive way.
The Starting Point
So, I guess all of that to say let us focus on the starting point of why we want to make resolutions, changes, or goals. And ask ourselves an especially important question: Where is it coming from?
Does it start with a negative perception or belief about who we are, our value, or worth; or does it start with embracing and accepting ourselves as we are right now with compassion and love?
Imagine how this one shift can affect how we see ourselves, how we speak to ourselves, and how we show up in our everyday lives.
Build Self-Compassionate Language
Below is a packet of exercises to help you build self-compassionate language for yourself, and begin embracing, accepting, and loving who you are.
