Spring is here! It is a season when all our senses are surrounded by newness, growth, and change. When trees sprout green leaves, when flowers bloom, allergies are running amok, and when the sun brings a warmth that has been missed for months. At this time of year, it makes sense that we would feel refreshed, renewed, and rebirthed…right? But what if we just do not feel that way right now?
What if we just feel “blah” or “meh?”
We often hear the phrase “don’t just survive but thrive.” I am not saying there is anything wrong with this phrase, but I would like to add some caveats to it. First, I wonder if we need to tweak the meaning we attribute to surviving. I think that surviving means that we have been through something difficult, and we have done it, are doing it, and continuing to do it. We should not take that lightly or minimize it. There is power in surviving, there is strength in it, and there is resiliency built from it.
So maybe we embrace the concept of surviving with more graciousness and realize it is just as important, if not more important than thriving. I am not saying we can live there all the time, but if we live through it, what a miraculous thing to celebrate. We can not thrive until we have survived, just like there is no spring without the harsh winter first.
Maybe you are not in a surviving place right now, but also not in a thriving place. What is that then? An article in the New York Times calls this feeling “languishing.” The author describes it as a place where we are not feeling depressed, but also not feeling like we are flourishing in life right now.
I feel like we often forget what we have been through and are still going through in our world and in our lives. I do not know about you, but I am tired! Fatigued by the pandemic, by the state of the world, by the everyday details that demand my time, attention, and energy.
Can you relate to that at all?
My second caveat is something I have written about before, but I feel it is worth repeating. We need to realize that we have less capacity after living through these last few years. A metaphor I often use comes from a blog I read where our capacity is likened to a bucket; a bucket full of water ready to be used to put out any and every fire that came up in our lives and around us.
Perhaps we were so used to the bucket being full that we never even thought what it would be like to not have a full bucket, to not be able to put out all the fires we wanted to, to wake up in the morning and feel like the bucket is already half empty before we even start our day. The point here is to care for yourself in a way that allows for this current state, to be gracious to yourself while in it, and to learn new ways of using the water in your bucket.
No matter where you are right now: surviving, thriving, flourishing, or languishing, it is ok! Practice accepting that place without judgment. Instead of fighting it, acknowledge where you are, understand what is happening to you, and use the water in your bucket wisely.
I wrote this blog this past September, but again, it is worth repeating. Be gracious to yourself with the space you are in. Just because it is Spring outside does not necessarily mean we feel that on the inside. And that is….what?…it is ok. This is a for-now season, not a forever season.
“The ties that bind us to life are tougher than you imagine, or than anyone can who has not felt how roughly they may be pulled without breaking.”
Anne Bronte
